Infidelity is always a painful subject for people, who are in a marriage and who love their spouses more than anything.
Once a spouse has cheated, it’s so hard to bring the trust back and to return to a relationship where everything is fine.
Our today’s heroine is a woman, who cheated on her husband 13 times, and now she’s working hard to save her marriage with a husband, whom she loves sincerely.
A woman turned to Reddit with her story and many people were left in shock.
A woman, 28, started her post, saying, «I know that I’m a horrible person, and I’m incredibly lucky to even have a second chance to save my marriage after single-handedly destroying everything sacred in this relationship.»
She continues her story and provides shocking details. The woman wrote, «I cheated with multiple people over the course of about a year. It was mostly a series of one-night stands, even though there were two people that I met up with more than once.
My husband unfortunately had to tolerate a lot of bad things from me when he found out, I lied about things, I blame-shifted, gaslighted him and manipulated him and tried to make it seem like he’s overreacting.»
When some user asked her about the reasoning behind her infidelity, the woman honestly replied to them in the comments. She explained, «I think more people need to understand this, because it is often implied that cheating only happens in a bad primary relationship. In truth, there isn’t always a ’motive’.»
«Sure, some people who cheat are in broken marriages.
But many people are in broken marriages, and not everyone cheats. There are also people like me who are in perfectly healthy marriages and still cheat. I honestly think there’s zero correlation between having a bad marriage and cheating, and anyone who says otherwise in lying to themselves.»
«No, I didn’t resent my husband, and there was nothing wrong with our love life.
There is no ’motive’. As I said, I did it because I wanted to. I had everything and I still wanted more because I was selfish, and I didn’t have empathy for how my husband would feel.
It really is just as simple as that. It is like a child who has a packet full of sweets and still wants more.»
The woman realized how priceless her marriage was.
The woman goes on with her confession, saying, «It took me a serious threat of divorce and a temporary separation to understand just how much I was about to lose. Since then, I have done everything I can: I came clean, we’ve had conversations about my affairs, recently I also did a written disclosure with the help of our marriage counselor.
I have been attending therapy as well.»
Her husband is trying to save their marriage, too.
The woman wrote, «It has been a year and a half since we started reconciling and while our marriage is in a tough spot, I’m very happy that my husband is starting to recover!
His coping strategy from my betrayal was to overwork himself and avoid dealing with the emotions.
Slowly, he has started to smile more, getting back into old hobbies, spending more time with their friends.
He doesn’t trust me very much, which is obvious after my betrayal and I do everything I can to maintain a sense of accountability.»
When a user asked the OP in the comments about why her husband ever gave her a second chance and why the OP decided to take it, the woman opened up about their family struggle and recovery.
She wrote, «Well, my husband is really still figuring things out and giving me a second chance to see if I’m really worthy of their love and trust.
He can leave at any moment if he feels like he’s not getting what he wants out of our marriage.»
«I took the chance because I want to be with him. I want to be a better person from now onwards, regardless of whether our marriage survives or not. I reject my selfishness, my apathy, my cruelty, my entitlement.
I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to have any more affairs.»
«I have hurt my partner enough. They have given me enough unconditional love to last ten lifetimes.
It is my turn this time.
Also, my husband is amazing, and my marriage was the most stable and loving relationship I have ever had before I decided to mess it up.
So I’m also doing it for me, in some ways.»
The woman really wants to bring her relationship back and to save her family.
Kick her to the curb.
The woman continued her post, saying, that her husband is a person she now fully admires, and she realized that having a short-term relationship with anyone wasn’t worth losing the dearest person in her life.
She revealed, «He has also started to open up to me about his feelings!
We have long conversations about all that has happened, and he often expresses that he’s glad I’m not being defensive like before.
I will always be ashamed of what I’ve done, it disgusts me to think about the way I behaved, the selfishness of it all, the entitlement. It makes me want to punch myself.»
«But I’m finally starting to be hopeful about our marriage.
My husband is an amazing man and I would be a fool to squander this second chance, so I’m trying my best to be the best wife I can be.»
In the comments, the woman confessed that she cheated on her husband with 13 people in total. But she truly believes that she can change as a person.
She thinks as long as she works on her issues, continues to hold herself accountable and work on her problems, it won’t happen again.
People of Reddit expressed their honest opinions on the woman’s problem.
People in the comments section shared their views of what could be the result of the woman’s efforts.
One person confessed, «As someone who has been cheated on and tried to forgive. It doesn’t work, fully. It ruins your psychology and then ruins future relationships as well, pretty much how you mentioned above.
The constant doubt.
I wish more people would realize these aspects.
I couldn’t move on in my relationship. I hope things work out, and I hope and pray you don’t do it again.
Obviously, I’m in a new relationship now. Married, together for five years.
We both have gone through this, and it eats away at both of us and constantly put that in the back of our minds.
We trust each other, but there’s always that what if.
And when those people that have betrayed us…we have heard the same promises over and over again. It’s so destroying.»
Another person added, «Her husband will never get over this. He’ll be gone within the next few years after this eats away at him.
Her being self-aware does not fix or help anything.
The damage is done. And I bet she’ll do it again.»
Source: Bright Side
