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Funny jokes

Steering Into Laughter: 10 Hilarious Jokes About Drivers

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Everyone needs some comedic relief once in a while, and the following ten stories about different drivers will have you cracking up in no time!

Grab a beverage and delve into these tales; they’re guaranteed to have you splitting your sides!

We can bet good money these stories will have you howling within seconds. From jokes about two elderly women driving together to a truck driver with a talking emu, buckle up because you’re in for a ride!

1.

The Taxi Driver vs. The Priest

A priest and a taxi driver both passed away on the same day and found themselves at the gates of Heaven, where St. Peter was waiting for them.

“Please follow me,” St. Peter said to the taxi driver, waving his hand.

The taxi driver followed obediently, and soon St. Peter led him to a massive mansion with every luxury imaginable.

“Wow, thank you!” said the taxi driver, astonished.

Then, St. Peter turned to the priest and led him to a small, run-down cabin.

“Excuse me, but isn’t there a mistake?” asked the shocked priest.

St. Peter nodded thoughtfully. “True, but during your sermons, people fell asleep.

When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed!”

2. The Generous Old Lady

A tour bus driver was cruising around town with a bus full of elderly folks when a little old lady tapped him on the shoulder.

She smiled while handing him a handful of peanuts. Gratefully, he ate them.

After a few rounds of this, he finally asked, “Why don’t you eat them yourselves?”

“Oh, don’t worry about us, dear,” she said with a toothless grin. “We just love sucking the chocolate off them.”

3. The Blind Horse

A driver got stuck in a ditch, and a farmer offered to help using his horse, Buddy.

The farmer called, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” but Buddy didn’t move.

Then he called, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Again, no movement.

Finally, he said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” and Buddy pulled the car out with ease.

The driver asked why he called Buddy by different names first.

The farmer whispered, “Buddy’s blind. If he thought he was pulling alone, he wouldn’t even try!”

4. The Juggler’s Traffic Stop

A driver was pulled over for speeding.

The officer noticed several machetes in his car.

“What are those for?” she asked.

“I’m a juggler,” he explained.

“Prove it,” she demanded.

So, he stepped out and began juggling. A passing driver saw this and muttered, “Man, I really need to quit drinking! Look at the sobriety tests they’re using now!”

5.

The Truck Driver and His Emu

A truck driver walked into a diner with an emu.

He ordered a burger, fries, and coffee. The emu said, “Same for me.”

He paid with exact change, and this continued daily.

One day, the waitress asked how he always had the exact amount.

“I found a genie lamp. My first wish was to always have the exact change for anything I buy.”

“Brilliant!” she said. “And the emu?”

“That was my second wish. I asked for a tall bird with long legs who’d agree with everything I say.”

6. The Prankster Cab Driver

A taxi driver picked up three drunk passengers.

He idled the car for a few minutes, then turned it off.

“We’re here!” he announced.

The first two passengers paid and left.

The third one slapped the driver and yelled, “Watch your speed! You almost got us all killed!”

7. The Wise Elderly Passenger

A woman picked up an elderly hitchhiker.

Seeing a bottle in the car, the old lady asked, “What’s in the bag?”

“A bottle of wine for my husband,” the driver replied.

The old lady nodded knowingly. “Good trade.”

8. The Scientist and His Clever Driver

A scientist was tired of giving the same lecture, so he switched places with his driver.

The driver delivered the lecture perfectly.

A man in the audience asked a complicated question.

The driver smirked and said, “Sir, your question is so simple that I’ll let my driver answer it for you.”

9. The Smart Driver and the Greedy Farmer

A driver hit a calf and asked the farmer what it was worth.

“Right now, $200. But in six years, $900.”

The driver wrote a check and said, “Here’s a check for $900… postdated six years from now.”

10. The Forgetful Senior Driver

Two elderly ladies were driving.

They ran a red light. Then another. And another.

The passenger finally shouted, “Susan, you just ran three red lights!”

Susan blinked and said, “Wait… am I driving?”

Driving Can Be a Comedy Show

From mischievous cab drivers to quick-witted scientists and clueless grandmas, these hilarious driving stories prove that life on the road is never dull.

So, the next time you take the wheel, just remember: you never know when your next great story might happen!

Source: amomama

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