The next day, I found out that he needed the money to go for a second interview. He was sure he was going to get it because he got along with the hiring manager, but because he didn’t come, they pulled the offer.
Now I don’t know what to do. So Bright Side, what do you think?
Should I try to fix this opportunity for my friend? Or should I keep the last money I have and get myself sorted?
Regards,
Paul D.
Some advice from our Editorial team.
You can’t help anyone if you’re drowning. And think honestly about the answer to this; would he be doing this for you?
Has he offered to pay you back? You lost out on buying a house for how many years now? Take care of yourself.
Tell him clearly that you no longer have any $$ to loan him. Not even $20.
Dear Paul,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us.
Stop trying to save the version of him that existed before the loss, and deal with the person he is right now. You already did more than most people ever would.
You didn’t lend pocket change; you put your future home on hold to stabilize his life for six full months.
That wasn’t a favor, that was a lifeline. The problem isn’t that you stopped helping.
The problem is that somewhere along the way, your support quietly turned into an expectation, and the moment you couldn’t meet it, he rewrote the story to make you the obstacle instead of his circumstances.
A second interview doesn’t disappear because someone missed an Uber. Job offers don’t hinge on one friend’s bank account.
That accusation is grief talking, yes, but it’s also deflection.
If you drain the last of your savings now, you won’t be “fixing” anything. You’ll just be creating two people in crisis instead of one.
The kindest, most honest thing you can do is acknowledge his pain without taking responsibility for outcomes you don’t control.
You can offer emotional support, help him plan, even sit with him while he makes calls, but the money stops here. Saving yourself is not betrayal.
It’s the only reason you were able to help him at all in the first place.
Paul finds himself in a difficult position because his friend is being unreasonable. But he can only do what is within his realm of possibility. He isn’t the only one with friendship struggles, though.
Another one of our readers reached out to share their experience.
You can read the full story here: My Best Friend Used Me for Money for Years, So I Gave Her the Most Expensive Revenge.
