Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates

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He gets in and she roars out of the dealership, drops it into second gear at 55 mph, floors the pedal again and slips into 3rd at 80mph does a handbrake turn into a country lane and then really starts to accelerate. 120mph into 4th gear; 5th at 145mph. The engine is screaming, trying to leap out of the bonnet when it reaches 170mph.

The scenery is a green blur the G-force has him pinned in the seat. In the distance, to his relief, the barriers of a level crossing are beginning to come down and she will have to slow down (he thinks!) instead the pitch of the engine increases. 100 yards from the crossing she slams on the brakes and the car stops inches from the barrier.

“Can you smell it?” she says. “SMELL IT? I’M SITTING IN IT!”

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A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table, she has a near-d.eath experience. During that experience, she sees God and asks if this is it. God says NO and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck – you name it, she had it. She even has someone come in and change her hair color. She figures since she’s got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out of the hospital after the last operation when she is k. lled by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrives in front of God and asks, “I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?”

“Oh, ” Said God.

“I didn’t recognize you.”