I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor. The nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, “Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!”
The man replied, “How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company.”
The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr.
Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, “Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company.”
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave.
When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, “I think I need a breath of fresh air.”
The man continued, “I work for 7-UP.”
A mother and father in their 40s loved their children very much. They had three kids, two of whom were already grown up. Their third child, the youngest, was only 10 years old.
They were tucking their young boy in to bed one night when they asked him what he wanted when he grew up. Son: Mom, I also want 5 wives. One will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me.
Mom: And one will put you to sle*p. Son: No mom, I will still sle*p with you. Mom’s eyes filled up with tears.
God bless you son. Mom: But who will sle*p with your 5 wives? Son: Let them sle*p with daddy.
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son! A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco’s Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz.
Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally they reached the ticket window.
“Five tickets, please,” the father said. “Two round trip, three one way.”
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A police car pulled up in front of Grandma Bessie’s house
A police car pulled up in front of Grandma Bessie’s house, and out stepped Grandpa Morris. The officer politely explained, “Ma’am, your husband said he got lost in the park and couldn’t find his way home.”
Grandma Bessie stared at Morris and said, “Lost?
You’ve been going to that park for 30 years! How’d you get lost today?”
Leaning in close so the officer couldn’t hear, Grandpa whispered, “I wasn’t lost. I was just too tired to walk home.”
A policeman pulls over an old man driving a pickup truck
A policeman pulls over an old man driving a pickup truck with the bed overflowing with ducks.
The story doesn’t end here — it continues on the next page.
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