I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. I was simply walking past the kitchen on my way to refill my tea, moving carefully in my slippers across the hardwood floor of the house I’d helped buy but no longer felt was mine. The chipped mug in my hand—one they’d relegated to me after I broke a glass from their wedding set—held the last cold sip of chamomile from an hour ago.
Paige stood near the island, phone pressed to her ear, pacing barefoot across the tile in that agitated way she had, one hand slicing through the air as she complained to whoever was on the other end. She never noticed she did that, the hand gestures that grew more emphatic as her grievances multiplied. “It’s like her room stinks,” she said, her voice carrying that particular tone of disgust mixed with exasperation.
“You know that nursing home smell? Heavy, like old fabric and something medicinal. I can’t even describe it properly, but it’s there.”
She laughed then—a short, clipped sound I didn’t recognize as belonging to my daughter.
“It’s seeping into the hallway now. I’ve sprayed the whole downstairs twice this week, but it’s like it clings to everything. The curtains, the carpets, everything.”
I stopped walking.
The mug wobbled in my hand, tea threatening to spill. I steadied it with my other palm, both hands suddenly shaking in a way that had nothing to do with my age or the stroke I’d had two years ago. I stood just outside the doorway, not hiding exactly, just frozen.
Paige didn’t look over, didn’t lower her voice, didn’t seem to register my presence even though I was clearly visible if she’d bothered to glance in my direction. My heart didn’t race with the revelation. It slowed, each beat heavy and distinct, like something inside me was shutting down one system at a time to conserve energy for survival.
I backed away quietly, the soles of my slippers making no sound, and returned to the small room they called the guest room—the room I’d been living in for the past three years since my husband James died and I sold my condo to help with their down payment. I closed the door softly behind me, not to hide from what I’d heard but to protect something that had been peeled open too quickly, exposed to air before it was ready. The tea had gone completely cold.
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