“But it’s still two cars. One house. One driveway.
One car.”
“We’re just here temporarily,” I said. “Not permanent residents.”
She smiled wide. “Rules apply to everyone.
That’s the beauty of it.”
Jack gave her a long look. “Well, thanks for the cookies.”
“Enjoy them!” she chirped. “And don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll settle in just fine.”
We closed the door.
“That was a lot,” Jack said. “She looked past me like she expected to see a drug deal going down in the kitchen,” I said, setting the tray on the counter. “Bet she memorized our license plates already.”
“Let her.
It’s not like we’re breaking laws. Just an overenthusiastic neighbor with too much time.”
Jack shrugged. “Cookies smell good though.”
Three days later, I woke up to a strange noise outside.
Early. Still dark. That cold, gray hour before sunrise.
Clank. Clank. Whirrr.
Jack sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What is that?”
I pulled the curtain back—and froze. “Jack.
Outside. Now.”
We bolted down the hallway and yanked open the door—barefoot, half-dressed. Two tow trucks sat in our driveway.
Both our cars were already halfway off the ground. “Hey!” I shouted. “What the hell is going on?”
One tow truck guy didn’t even glance up.
“Violation of HOA regulation. Only one car per home. Orders came in this morning.”
“From who?” Jack snapped.
“There’s no posted warning! No notice!”
Then we saw her—Lindsey. She stood on the sidewalk in a lavender bathrobe, arms folded, coffee mug in hand, smiling like she had just claimed victory.
“WOW,” I said loudly. “You really did it, huh?”
Her smile flickered. “What’s so funny?” she snapped.
I walked toward her calmly. “Nothing,” I said. “Just the fact that you owe us twenty-five thousand dollars now.”
She blinked.
“What—what do you mean?”
Jack joined me, hands in his hoodie pockets. I pointed to the small sticker on the back windshield of my car—barely visible unless you knew it was there. Her eyes narrowed.
I smiled. “Bet you didn’t recognize that little mark.”
She stared, mouth open, watching the realization slowly take shape across her face. Her eyes tightened, lips parted as she stepped closer to squint at the corner of the rear windshield.
The sticker wasn’t flashy—wasn’t meant to be—but unmistakable to the right people. She tilted her head. “What… what is that?” she asked, her voice thin and trembling.
Jack said nothing. He didn’t need to. I didn’t answer either.
I simply met her eyes, gave a faint smile, and turned back toward the house. Jack followed. Behind us, Lindsey called out, louder now.
“Wait—hey! I asked you a question!”
We didn’t look back. Didn’t slam the door.
Just closed it—soft, final. Jack flopped onto the couch and rubbed his neck. “She’s gonna lose it thinking about that sticker.”
I smiled.
“She should.”
We never touched the cookies she brought—they sat on the counter like a stale, failed peace offering. That night, after the streetlights came on and the neighborhood quieted, I made a call. Short.
Direct. “We’ve got a situation,” I said. “Civilian interference.
Property tampering. Might want to send someone in the morning.”
A pause, then a calm reply: “Understood.”
Click. Jack looked up from across the room.
“They’re sending someone?”
I nodded. “Yep. Early.”
Jack stretched with a grin.
“Good. I want her to be wide awake when it happens.”
Just before sunrise the next morning, we stepped outside. Right on cue, a black SUV rolled around the corner and stopped in front of Lindsey’s house.
The driver stepped out wearing a sharp black suit, crisp white shirt, and polished shoes that barely made a sound. Even in low light, he wore dark sunglasses. He paused beside me and gave a small nod.
I returned it. Together, we crossed the street and walked to Lindsey’s porch. I rang the doorbell.
After a moment, the door creaked open. Lindsey stood there in a fluffy pink bathrobe, blonde hair piled messily on her head, holding a mug that read: Live, Laugh, Love. She blinked hard.
“Um… hello?”
The agent didn’t smile. He pulled out a slim leather wallet, opened it, and flashed a badge. “Ma’am,” he said calmly, “due to your actions yesterday morning, you are now under investigation for interfering with an active undercover federal operation.”
The color drained from her face.
Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. “I—I don’t understand,” she finally whispered. “What operation?”
“You initiated the towing of two marked government vehicles,” he continued, steady and formal.
“You disrupted and compromised two embedded federal officers in the process.”
“I didn’t know!” she stammered. “I mean—I thought—I was just trying to follow the HOA rules!”
“You failed to verify the vehicles before initiating their removal,” he said. “As a result, you delayed and damaged an active federal investigation.
The costs and losses caused by your actions total twenty-five thousand dollars.”
Her jaw dropped. The mug slipped from her hands, shattering on the porch. Jack stepped forward, hands in pockets.
“Maybe next time,” he said dryly, “don’t act like the sheriff of suburbia.”
She stared at the broken mug like it held all the answers. The agent nodded once. “You’ll be contacted by our office for further action.
Until then, you are not to leave the area. Do not contact anyone involved. Do not destroy any documents or records.”
She barely nodded, mouth still hanging open.
He turned and walked back to the SUV without another word. I gave her one last look. “Next time, maybe just bake the cookies and leave it at that.”
We crossed the street in silence.
Lindsey didn’t speak. Her door stayed cracked open. Her blinds didn’t lift all day.
And those perfect rose bushes she loved? They never quite recovered. Source: thecelebritist.com
Note: This story is a work of fiction inspired by real events.
Names, characters, and details have been altered. Any resemblance is coincidental. The author and publisher disclaim accuracy, liability, and responsibility for interpretations or reliance.
All images are for illustration purposes only.
