The slap comes so fast I don’t register what’s happening until after the impact. One moment I’m standing in their pristine kitchen asking a simple question—could my daughter-in-law please not smoke around me because my damaged lungs can barely handle clean air—and the next moment my son’s palm connects with my cheek with a crack that echoes off the granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. My head snaps to the side.
Heat floods my face immediately, spreading from the point of contact outward like ripples in water. I taste copper, that distinctive metallic tang where my teeth have caught the soft tissue inside my cheek. For several seconds, the entire room tilts at an impossible angle, and I have to grip the edge of the counter to keep from falling.
The cigarette smoke from Sloan’s expensive menthol cigarette continues to curl between us like a living thing, lazy and unconcerned, drifting toward the ventilation hood that she never bothers to turn on. My son—Deacon, the boy I raised alone in a cramped two-bedroom apartment on the east side of Columbus, the child for whom I worked my fingers raw and my lungs to ruin—has just struck his seventy-three-year-old mother because I asked for breathable air. “Maybe now you’ll learn to keep your mouth shut,” Deacon says, his voice flat and emotionless, as if he’s commenting on the weather rather than the violence he just committed.
He looks at me the way you might look at a piece of trash someone forgot to take out, with mild annoyance and complete dismissal. My throat closes. My damaged lungs, already struggling with the smoke, now have to contend with the shock and the tears I’m fighting to contain.
I can’t get enough air. Each attempted breath feels like inhaling through a wet cloth, like drowning on dry land. I had only asked one thing—just one simple thing—because my pulmonologist had been very clear that my chronic lung disease was progressive, that exposure to smoke would accelerate the damage, that I needed to protect what little lung function I had left.
But this is Sloan’s house. Sloan’s rules. Sloan’s expensive cigarettes that probably cost more per pack than my weekly grocery budget.
Sloan herself laughs—not a big, dramatic laugh, just a small, satisfied sound that makes my skin crawl. A smirk curves her perfectly lipsticked mouth as she takes another deliberate drag, her eyes locked on mine, watching my reaction with the kind of detached curiosity you might show watching an insect struggle. Her designer yoga pants probably cost what I used to make in a week at Morrison Textile Factory.
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