Spending Christmas at my in-laws’ house had always felt like a performance. Not the joyful kind, with laughter and warmth, but the exhausting kind where you rehearse your lines in advance and smile until your cheeks ache. Every year, I told myself it would be different.
Every year, it wasn’t. Their house looked like a magazine spread—perfectly arranged garlands, candles placed just so, a tree overloaded with ornaments that all seemed to whisper tradition and expectation. I stood in the hallway adjusting my sweater, already bracing myself.
My husband squeezed my hand gently, as if to say, Just get through it. Dinner passed with polite conversation and careful pauses. My mother-in-law presided over the table like a judge, smiling thinly, her eyes sharp.
Every question she asked felt like a test. “How’s work going?” meant Why haven’t you been promoted? “You two still living in that apartment?” meant Why haven’t you upgraded your life yet?
And the unspoken one hung over everything else: Why don’t you have a baby? I answered carefully, the way I always did. Neutral.
Pleasant. Noncommittal. I’d learned long ago that any honesty only gave her more ammunition.
After dinner, we moved into the living room for what she called “a special Christmas moment.” She cleared her throat and announced she’d prepared a prayer. Everyone bowed their heads automatically. My stomach tightened.
Something about her tone felt… wrong. She began softly, almost sweetly, thanking God for family, for tradition, for continuity. Then, slowly, the words shifted.
She prayed for “those who have strayed from their purpose.” For “those who haven’t yet fulfilled their roles.” For “those who haven’t been blessed with children.” For “those who haven’t advanced despite the opportunities given to them.” For “those who don’t honor family traditions the way they should.”
Each line landed like a quiet slap. No baby. No promotion.
No traditions. She never said my name, but she didn’t need to. Every word pointed straight at me.
I stared at my folded hands, my face burning. Around the room, no one moved. No one spoke.
Even my husband stayed silent, his head bowed, his jaw clenched. I felt small. Exposed.
Like I was being publicly graded—and found lacking—under the cover of prayer. When she finally said “Amen,” the silence stretched on. I waited for someone—anyone—to say something.
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