I watched his throat work as he swallowed.
“I paint to hold on to time.”
“What does that mean?”
“Please. Just trust me.”
“Trust you? You’ve been painting pictures of another woman for years!
Who is she? Your mistress? Did you decide to cheat on me in your old age?”
“Rosie, it’s not what you think.”
“Then explain it to me.”
“Okay.
I’ll tell you. It’s a long story, and you might not believe me, but you need to know the truth. But not today.”
“After 60 years, you can’t tell me the truth?”
I walked out of that garage, shaking.
***
The days that followed were quiet.
Henry became even more attentive. He watched me constantly. And I didn’t understand why.
I needed answers.
One morning, I pretended to be asleep when Henry got up early.
Through barely open eyes, I watched him move around the bedroom.
He went to the safe, entered the combination, and pulled out a thick envelope of cash.
Where was he going with that much money?
Henry got dressed quietly.
“I’m going for a walk,” he whispered, thinking I was asleep.
But he didn’t put on his walking shoes. He put on his good jacket. The one he wore to important appointments.
I waited until I heard the front door close.
Then I got dressed faster than I had in years.
I followed him in my car, staying far enough back that he wouldn’t notice.
He didn’t go to the park. He went to a building on the other side of town.
A private neurology clinic.
Why was Henry at a neurology clinic?
I parked and went inside. The receptionist didn’t notice me.
She was busy on the phone.
I walked down the hallway. Heard voices coming from one of the consultation rooms.
The door was slightly open. I recognized Henry’s voice and stopped to listen.
A doctor spoke first.
“Henry, her condition is progressing faster than we initially hoped.”
Her condition? Whose condition?
“How much time do we have, Doc?”
“We may have three to five years before significant deterioration.”
“And after that?”
“She may not recognize her children. Or her grandchildren.”
“What about me?” Henry urged.
The doctor hesitated.
“Eventually… possibly…”
I heard Henry’s breath catch.
“There’s an experimental treatment, Henry. It’s expensive.
Not covered by insurance. But it could slow the progression significantly.”
“How expensive?”
“Around $80,000.”
“I’ll pay it. I’ll sell the house if I have to.
Just give me more time with her.”
They were talking about someone sick. Someone losing her memory. Someone who might not recognize her own family.
“Henry, you need to tell Rosemary.
She has a right to know.”
They were talking about… me.
The doctor continued. “The stages we discussed earlier…
they’re projected timelines based on her current rate of decline.”
“What years again?”
“2026, we expect early memory loss to become more apparent. 2027, difficulty recognizing faces. 2029, significant cognitive decline.
By 2032, advanced stage.”
The dates on the paintings. Those weren’t random.
Henry had been painting me in advance, preserving who I was before I disappeared.
I pushed the door open. Henry looked up and froze.
“Rosie…
you followed me??”
“Yes. And I heard everything.”
The doctor stood awkwardly. “I’ll give you two a moment.”
Henry reached for me.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want you to find out like this.”
“How long have you known?”
“Five years? And you didn’t tell me?”
“I couldn’t.
Every time I tried, I couldn’t get the words out.”
I sat down in the chair across from him. “What’s wrong with me, Henry?”
“Early onset Alzheimer’s. It’s progressing slowly for now.
But it will get worse.”
I thought about the past few months.
The times I’d walked into a room and forgotten why. The grandchild’s name I couldn’t recall last week. The recipe I’d made a thousand times that suddenly felt unfamiliar.
A memory stirred.
Years ago, after I kept misplacing things and losing small stretches of time, I’d seen a neurologist. He called it “mild cognitive decline” and said we would monitor it.
I remember feeling almost embarrassed, relieved it didn’t sound serious.
What I don’t remember is Henry staying behind after one of those appointments, asking questions I wasn’t ready to hear.
“You are, my love. But it’s more than that.”
I looked at my hands. “You’ve been preparing for the day I forget you.”
He knelt in front of me and took my hands.
“If you forget me, I will remember enough for both of us.”
“I saw you taking money.”
“I ran out of art supplies!”
We sat there for a long time. Finally, I broke the silence. “I want to see all of it.
Everything you’ve painted.”
“Rosie…”
“Please, Henry.”
That night, Henry took me to the garage. We stood in front of the paintings together.
The woman in the portraits didn’t look exactly like me.
The features were softer, sometimes slightly blurred. Henry was never a trained artist, and he hadn’t painted photographs. He’d painted memories.
“This one is from the year we met.”
“I look so young.”
“You were 17.
You had paint on your nose from art class.”
I touched another canvas. “This one is from our wedding day.”
“I painted that from memory. You were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen.”
He moved to another painting.
“This is from when our first child was born. You were exhausted. But you were glowing.”
“I remember that day.”
We moved through the years.
Then we reached the future dates.
“This one is 2027.”
In it, I looked confused and lost.
“You painted me forgetting?!”
“I painted you as you might be. So I’ll recognize you even when you don’t recognize yourself.”
I studied the painting carefully. The confusion in my eyes.
The slight tilt of my head. Like I was trying to remember something just out of reach.
“Show me the rest.”
He showed me 2028. In that painting, I was looking at our daughter with uncertain eyes.
“This is when you might start having trouble with faces.”
Then 2029.
In that one, I was sitting in a chair, staring at nothing.
“Significant cognitive decline,” Henry whispered.
“And 2032?”
He hesitated before showing me. In the painting, my eyes were distant. In the corner, Henry had written:
“Even if she doesn’t know my name, she will know she is loved.”
I started crying.
I picked up a pencil from the workbench. My hands were shaking, but I steadied them.
Beneath his words, I wrote:
“If I forget everything else, I hope I remember how he held my hand.”
Henry read it and pulled me close.
“Then I’ll tell you about them every day.”
“What if I forget you?”
He kissed my forehead. “Then I’ll introduce myself every morning.
And I’ll fall in love with you all over again.”
“I’m going to fight this. As hard as I can.”
“I know you will. And I’ll be right beside you.”
The following day, I called the doctor myself.
“I want to know everything.
All the details Henry’s been protecting me from.”
The doctor explained the treatment options. The experimental drug trial. The costs.
“Your husband is prepared to spend your life savings on this.”
“I know.”
“And what do you want?”
“I want to try.
I want every extra day I can get with my family. With Henry.”
“Then we’ll start next week.”
The doctor also suggested I write things down. So I started a journal.
Henry helped me begin this story, reminding me of dates and moments I might have forgotten.
And so, dear readers, I’m telling you everything now while I still can.
Last week, I forgot our daughter’s name for just a moment.
I wrote it down in my journal immediately: “Iris. Our daughter. Brown hair.
Kind eyes. Loves gardening.”
I still go to the garage sometimes and look at all the versions of myself on those walls.
The woman I was. The woman I am.
The woman I might become.
And I think about the man who has loved me for 60 years. Who will keep loving me even when I can’t remember why.
Yesterday, I added something to my journal.
“If one day I look at Henry and don’t know who he is, someone please read this to me: This man is your heart. He has been your heart for 60 years and counting.
Even if you don’t remember his name, your soul knows him. Trust the love you can’t recall but that has never left you.”
I showed it to Henry. He read it with tears streaming down his face.
Then he held me like he was afraid I’d disappear.
And maybe someday, in a way, I will. But until then, we have this. We have today.
If memory leaves me, I hope love remains.
Because even in the forgetting, my Henry was never forgotten.
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