But the woman? Definitely not me.
She had long brown hair and wore a flowing bridal gown. Beneath the drawing, in Mia’s little handwriting, were the words that broke my heart:
I can’t wait for you to be my mom!
It felt like the ground beneath me had given way.
I took the picture to Mia’s bed and sat on the edge, trying to wake her up enough to get answers.
“Darling girl, can you tell me about this drawing?” I asked her calmly.
“What drawing, Momma?” she asked, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
When Mia took a look at the drawing, her face turned red, and she snatched the paper out of my hand, clutching it to her chest.
“You weren’t supposed to find that!
Daddy said to hide it better!” she blurted out.
Hide it better? Jack? Hide what better?
My heart started pounding.
What was going on? Was Jack cheating? And what was worse…
was Mia already imagining this other woman as her mom?
I barely slept that night. My mind was running miles per hour. I thought about my mother, I thought about the work I still needed to do before heading to the office the next day, and I thought about my marriage…
By the morning, I had gone through a storm of worst-case scenarios.
I sat in the kitchen, waiting for Jack to get ready for work. Mia had already left for school.
“What is this?” I demanded, thrusting the drawing into his hands.
His eyes widened, and his face turned pale.
“You told her to hide it?” I asked. “You actually told Mia to hide it?”
“Wait, wait,” he stammered, holding up his hands defensively.
“It’s not what you think, Amber. Let me explain it all to you.”
“You have exactly five seconds, Jack. I’ve been going crazy the entire night.”
My husband ran a hand through his hair, clearly distressed.
“Come with me,” he said.
“What?
Where are we going? What about work?” I asked.
“We’re going to Mia’s school. I need to show you something,” he said.
I wanted to scream at him, but something in his voice, an urgency that didn’t feel like guilt, made me agree.
The drive to the school was tense and silent, my mind still racing.
What would Jack show me at Mia’s school that would change anything? Was there an imaginary friend or imaginary step-in mother waiting for us?
When we arrived at the school, Jack squeezed my knee. As we walked to the reception area, he squeezed my hand and asked to see Mia’s teacher, Clara.
As soon as Clara walked in, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut.
She was stunning, and for the life of me, I couldn’t remember why I hadn’t met her before. She had long brown hair, a bright smile, and an effortlessly bubbly demeanor.
She had to be the woman from Mia’s drawing, it was unmistakable.
She smiled at Jack, and I wanted to scream.
“Clara,” Jack said. “Can you explain to my wife what’s been happening with Mia?”
Clara’s expression shifted to confusion but then softened as she glanced at me.
“Oh, of course,” she said.
She gestured for us to sit in the little room adjacent to the reception.
“Look, Mia’s been having a tough time lately,” she began.
“She’s mentioned feeling like her mom doesn’t have time for her anymore. I’ve tried to reassure her, but she’s… well, look, she’s seven.
And she’s been drawing a lot of pictures to process her feelings.”
Clara handed me a stack of drawings, and my heart sank as I flipped through them.
Most were variations of the same theme. A happy family with Clara in my place. On the back of one of the drawings, there were more words I hadn’t noticed the first time:
Daddy and Clara.
“So, you’ve been spending time with my daughter?” I asked, unable to hide the edge in my voice.
“Yes, of course,” she said.
“But only in class, and I’m her teacher, after all. She stays after class sometimes to help me tidy up. She told me she feels like she’s losing her mom because you’re always busy.
I’m so sorry if I overstepped. I’d never want to interfere…”
I turned to Jack, my chest tight.
“And you? What did you say to her about this?”
Jack looked miserable.
“I found that picture last week,” he admitted.
“I told Mia it wasn’t true, that you love her more than anything. But I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t want to make it worse by bringing it up when you were already so stressed out.
I told her to put the drawing away because I knew it would hurt you.”
“You should have told me, Jack,” I said softly.
I honestly didn’t know what to think.
Jack nodded, guilt in his eyes.
“I know, love,” he said. “I thought I was protecting you, but I see now that I just made it worse.”
My anger began to deflate, replaced by a wave of guilt so heavy it nearly knocked me off my seat. This wasn’t about Jack cheating or Clara overstepping.
It was about my daughter, her sadness, her confusion, and her way of coping with my absence.
That night, I sat down with Mia at the kitchen table. I had dished us bowls of ice cream with all the toppings, hoping for a bonding moment between us.
“Sweetheart,” I said softly. “I need to tell you something.
I know I haven’t been around as much lately, and I’m so, so sorry. Grandma needs a lot of help right now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. You’re my everything, sweet girl.”
Mia’s eyes filled with tears, and she threw her arms around me.
“I thought maybe you didn’t like me anymore,” she whispered.
My heart shattered.
“I love you more than anything,” I said, holding her tightly.
“Nothing will ever change that.”
In the weeks that followed, I made several lifestyle changes.
I cut back on work hours and asked my siblings to take on more of our mom’s care. Jack and I started a “Mom and Mia” night every week, just the two of us, doing whatever she wanted.
Sometimes it was baking cookies, other times it was a movie night, or building a fort, or sometimes it was just us dressing up and going on a date together.
I also had a heartfelt talk with Clara to thank her for being a wonderful teacher and being there for Mia when I couldn’t be.
She apologized again for any boundaries she might have crossed, but I reassured her that Mia’s drawings weren’t her fault.
“I just feel bad, Amber,” she said as she cleaned up paintbrushes.
“I know, but you really shouldn’t, Clara,” I said. “You became a safe space for Mia, and you reminded her of how loved and cared for she is.
That’s something I’ll always appreciate.”
Life isn’t perfect, but it’s a lot better. I’m learning to ask for help and to show Mia that she comes first. And now, every time she picks up her crayons, I make sure I’m sitting right next to her.
