I woke up on my wedding day feeling cold air where it shouldn’t be. My hand moved instinctively to my head, expecting to feel the long dark hair my mother used to braid before every important moment of my life—my high school graduation, my Navy commissioning ceremony, the funeral where we buried her three years ago. Instead, my palm slid across smooth, bare skin.
The scream that tore from my throat didn’t sound like it belonged to me. It was raw and animal and desperate, the sound of someone discovering a violation so complete that words hadn’t yet caught up to the horror. I stumbled to the mirror above my childhood dresser in my father’s house in Chesapeake, Virginia, my legs weak and unsteady beneath me.
The woman staring back wasn’t the bride I’d imagined for months. She wasn’t even recognizable as me. She was a stranger with a completely shaved head, red-rimmed eyes already filling with tears, and an expression of absolute devastation carved across features I barely recognized.
That’s when I saw it—taped crookedly to the mirror’s surface, written in my father’s heavy block letters on a yellow sticky note that seemed to glow with malice:
Now you have the look that fits you, ridiculous girl. My knees buckled. I grabbed the edge of the dresser to keep from collapsing onto the hardwood floor my mother had polished every Saturday afternoon while humming hymns from our church choir.
The room spun around me in dizzying circles. For several seconds, I genuinely wondered if this was some kind of nightmare, if I would wake up gasping and find my hair still there, my wedding day still salvageable, my father’s cruelty just a stress-induced fever dream. But the cold morning air brushing against my exposed scalp told me this was real.
This was happening. This was my wedding day. No father in America—no decent one—would do something like this to his own daughter.
Not on the day she’s supposed to walk down an aisle and promise forever to someone she loves. Not ever. But John Warren had never been what anyone would call decent, at least not to me.
I pressed my palm against my mouth to muffle the sobs threatening to tear through me. I’d learned long ago not to cry loudly in this house. My father used to say tears were “a waste of good military training,” as if emotion itself was a kind of weakness that needed to be stamped out like a grass fire before it spread.
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