Money and relationships don’t always mix well. Especially when one person starts demanding access the other isn’t comfortable giving. It’s one thing to share expenses.
It’s another thing entirely when someone wants your passwords. One of our readers is in the middle of this right now.
Here’s what Maria shared with us:
“Hi Bright Side!
So I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. Everything was great until last week.
Out of nowhere, he said he wanted my bank login. Not a joint account. Not shared finances.
My actual login and password.
I asked why. He said it’s about trust. That real couples don’t hide money from each other.
I offered to open a joint account instead.
He got mad. Said, “My ex shared everything with me.” I told him that’s weird and I’m not his ex.
He snapped. “Prove you’re not hiding something.”
I said no. He hasn’t talked to me since.
I thought he was just being dramatic. Figured he’d get over it.
Then last night I came home and his laptop was open on the kitchen table.
He was in the shower. I wasn’t trying to snoop but my name was right there on the screen. My stomach dropped.
He had been messaging his friends about me. Calling me “secretive” and “suspicious.” One message said, “She’s definitely hiding something. No normal person would say no to this.” Another said, “I’ll find out one way or another.”
I felt sick.
I closed it and didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to do.
This morning, my mom called. Her voice was shaking.
She asked if everything was okay with me. Really okay. I said yes, why.
Turns out my boyfriend had called her. Crying. Told her he thinks I’m cheating.
Said I’ve been acting suspicious and hiding things from him. Said he’s scared I’m living a double life and he didn’t know who else to turn to.
My mom was terrified.
She thought something was seriously wrong with me. He got to her first. Made himself look like the victim so if I ever told her my side, she’d already doubt me.
Now I’m sitting here and I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to leave. Part of me thinks maybe I overreacted by not sharing.
We’ve been together for two years.
Is this really worth ending everything over? Am I being paranoid or is this a huge red flag?
The story doesn’t end here — it continues on the next page.
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