But I didn’t get the chance to understand then.
They didn’t explain. They didn’t soften it. They didn’t even try to talk to me like I mattered.
They just chose, and let me sit with the pain and resentment alone. Now I feel bad for being angry, but also hurt that I was dismissed so easily in the moment that mattered most to me. So Bright Side, am I wrong for still feeling hurt, even after knowing the full story?
Or do I need to suck it up and move on now that I know why they made that choice? Best,
Pam <3
A gender reveal in advance of the birth is unnecessary and with her sister’s medical history the stress of having a big party might add to her risk. The baby’s gender will be revealed when it is born.
Assuming she is able to carry the pregnancy to term. Your parents blew it by not telling you what was going on. I feel bad for your sister but your parents made you feel “less than”.
Shame on them. Thank you so much for trusting us with your story, Pam! Whatever you decide to do next, your feelings make sense, and you deserve space to work through them at your own pace.
- You’re allowed to hold two truths at once — You can understand why your parents did what they did and still feel hurt by how they handled it.
Those aren’t mutually exclusive.Anyone who tells you otherwise is oversimplifying it. The practical move here is to stop arguing with yourself about whether your feelings are “valid” and instead accept them as data. Hurt doesn’t mean you’re cruel or selfish.
It just means something important to you got stepped on.
- You don’t owe instant forgiveness — People love to act like explanation = absolution. It doesn’t. It just gives clarity.Forgiveness is a process, not a light switch you flip because someone finally told you the truth.
If you need space before you’re warm again, take it. You can be compassionate and slow. Those can coexist.
- You’re not the villain for wanting to be chosen once — At the end of the day, wanting your parents to choose you, just this once, doesn’t make you selfish.
It makes you human. If you ever start spiraling into “maybe I’m awful for feeling this way,” stop and ask: would I judge a friend this harshly?No. So don’t do it to yourself.
Even in messy family situations, understanding, patience, and honest communication can help heal wounds and strengthen bonds.
With time and empathy, it’s possible to move forward while honoring everyone’s feelings. Read next: My Pregnant DIL Refused to Return My Mom’s Diamond Necklace, So I Made Sure She Paid the Price
