“It’ll just be twelve this year,” Ashley announced, her eyes never leaving the notepad she was scribbling on with the focused intensity of someone orchestrating a corporate merger rather than a family gathering. She sat at my dining table on an ordinary Tuesday evening, her pen moving in quick, efficient strokes across the paper as if she were running a board meeting instead of planning Christmas dinner. “My parents, my brothers, their wives, and the kids—plus us, of course.
So you’ll host.”
The words came out smooth and certain, not as a question but as a statement of established fact, as natural as mentioning the day of the week or the color of the sky. She didn’t pause to gauge my reaction or wait for confirmation. She simply kept flipping to the next page of her notes, already moving on to the next item on her mental checklist.
“My dad doesn’t eat pork anymore, so maybe turkey and beef this year,” she continued without looking up. “My mom likes the guest room at the end of the hall—she says it’s quieter than the others. The kids can sleep in the den if that works.
You still have those fold-out couches, right?”
I sat there with my hands wrapped around my water glass, feeling the cool condensation against my palms, letting her list off one expectation after another like items on a shopping list. She didn’t look up once. She didn’t ask if I was available or willing.
She simply assumed, the way someone assumes the sun will rise tomorrow or that gravity will keep their feet on the ground. Fred sat beside her—my son, my only child—tapping his fork absently against his plate but saying nothing. He didn’t correct her presumptuous tone.
He didn’t interject with a “Mom, would that be okay with you?” He never does. Over the years, I’d watched him transform from the boy who used to ask my opinion about everything to a man who sat silently while his wife made plans that involved my home, my labor, and my entire holiday season. I listened as Ashley moved seamlessly from food preferences to bedroom arrangements and then to decorations, her voice carrying the brisk efficiency of someone accustomed to being obeyed.
“Oh, and maybe fewer candles this year,” she added, finally glancing up for just a moment. “My brother’s daughter gets headaches from scented things. Maybe you could do more lights outside instead.
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