It was a regular day at work. I was mopping the floor near the food court in the mall when I accidentally bumped into a man, knocking his coffee straight from his hands. When he stared at me with wide eyes, I thought he’d scream at me.
What happened next changed the course of my life.
I’ve been alive for over 62 years now, and let me tell you, life never stays the same. The one thing about time is that it passes. If you’re going through a bad time, know that this too shall pass.
And if you’re having the best time of your life, know that this won’t last forever.
I’ve seen my fair share of good and bad days. Let me first tell you about the good days.
When I was 28, I fell in love with a man I’d met at a metro station. He was a kind man and loved me so much.
We dated for years and did some of the craziest things together. We’d take weekend trips to the beach, dance in his tiny apartment kitchen, and stay up all night talking about our dreams. I thought we were building something real together.
But when the time for a real commitment came, his hands started trembling, and he started stuttering like I’d asked him to do something impossible.
“Marriage?” he said, looking at me like I’d suggested we move to Mars.
“Lana, I… I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of thing.”
“What kind of thing? Love?
A future together?”
“It’s just… it’s so permanent. What if we change?
What if this feeling goes away?”
The truth was that he wasn’t ready for marriage. He just wanted a fling, but I was looking for something real.
As a result, I had to end our relationship.
What’s worse is that he didn’t once ask me to stay back. He didn’t even ask me for time to think about getting serious in life.
“I think we want different things,” I told him that night, my heart breaking with every word.
He just stared at me with wide eyes when I told him I was breaking up with him.
“Good luck, Lana. I hope you find what you’re looking for in life,” is all that he said.
But what luck was he talking about? I was 35 by the time I left him, and I didn’t have a decent job or my own place to live.
The heartbreak had taken a toll on me.
I wasn’t ready to face the world. I’d spent seven years thinking I was building a life with someone, only to discover I was just filling time.
Those were the dark days. Days when I wondered if I’d made the right choice.
The story doesn’t end here — it continues on the next page.
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