My name is Natalie Pierce, and in my family, love always came with a price tag attached. I grew up in Fort Worth, Texas, in a three-bedroom house on a quiet street that looked ordinary from the outside and operated, on the inside, according to rules that no one had written down because they didn’t need to. The rules were atmospheric — you absorbed them the way you absorbed the Texas heat, without being told it was happening, until one day you understood that this was simply the climate you lived in and you adjusted accordingly.
The central rule, the one from which all others derived, was this: Brooke mattered more. Not loudly. Not cruelly, in the way people imagine when they hear about family hierarchies.
My parents weren’t monsters in the cartoonish sense. They were ordinary people who had made a subtle, sustained choice over many years to orient the family’s resources, attention, and emotional energy around my older sister, and who had arrived, through that sustained choice, at a worldview in which this arrangement was not favoritism but simply reality. Brooke was the sun.
I was one of the planets. Planets don’t complain about their position. They orbit.
Brooke received applause for showing up. I received instructions for whatever she’d left undone. If she misplaced her keys, I should have reminded her.
If she failed an exam, I had distracted her somehow. The logic was impervious to evidence because it wasn’t logic — it was theology. Inside our walls, it had been repeated long enough and consistently enough that it had achieved the status of fact, and I had been young enough, and surrounded enough by people who believed it, that for a long time I believed it too.
The belief takes root when you’re small and it grows with you, and by the time you’re old enough to question it, the roots are already deep. I started working at sixteen. Part-time at a grocery store, night shifts mostly, when Brooke was out with friends and our parents were watching television and no one particularly noticed or asked where I was going.
I stocked shelves and operated a register and learned, in the way you learn things through sheer repetition, that time has a value and that value can be converted into money and that money can be converted, if you’re disciplined enough about it, into choices. I was deeply disciplined. By twenty, I had saved thirty thousand dollars.
The story doesn’t end here — it continues on the next page.
Tap READ MORE to discover the rest 🔎👇
