The first time my husband locked me out of our baby’s nursery, I told myself it was exhaustion. The fifth time, I started to feel afraid. When I found a hidden phone taped under our son’s crib — and read the message he sent the night before — I thought I was about to lose everything.
I’ve been married to Caleb for five years.
If you asked me to describe him a few months ago, I would have used words like “sturdy” or “consistent.”
He’s the kind of man who double-checks the stove three times before we leave for dinner and genuinely sheds a tear at those sappy father-son life insurance commercials.
He was my safe harbor. He was predictable.
That’s why watching him unravel over the past three months has been the most terrifying experience of my life.
It started shortly after I gave birth to Jeremy, our first child.
Everything seemed fine at first, just the usual new parenting chaos. During the second week after we brought him home from the hospital, something shifted.
One evening, Jeremy was in the middle of a full-scale meltdown.
Caleb swooped in and scooped Jeremy up with a frantic sort of speed.
“I can nurse him,” I offered, reaching out. My body was screaming for the baby just as loud as the baby was screaming for me.
“He just ate,” Caleb snapped.
It was the first time he’d ever used that tone with me. Before I could even process the sting of it, he carried Jeremy into the nursery and shut the door.
I heard the lock click.
I stood in the hallway, staring at the brass handle.
“It’s easier if it’s just us,” he called back.
“He settles faster.”
I stood there for what felt like hours, listening to Jeremy cry. I was about ready to claw through the door when the crying started to soften.
Then, there was blessed silence.
When Caleb finally emerged, his smile looked like it had been stapled onto his face.
“See?” he said, brushing past me.
“Told you.”
Around three weeks later, I walked past the nursery and saw Caleb standing over the crib.
Jeremy was out cold, his little chest rising and falling peacefully, and Caleb was just… watching him.
He wasn’t moving. He looked like a statue.
He nodded, but when he turned to look at me, his eyes were shiny with unshed tears.
“I wish Mom were here to see him. She would’ve loved this.”
I stepped into the room and put a hand on his back. “I know, honey.
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