I’ve cleaned houses for a living for the past six years, ever since I arrived in New York City from Wyoming with two suitcases and dreams that quickly gave way to reality. It’s honest work, if anonymous—I scrub marble countertops and polish hardwood floors for people who will never know my name, who see me as nothing more than the person who makes their homes shine before disappearing back into invisibility. I’d made peace with that life.
Made peace with being twenty-four years old and nowhere close to the future I’d imagined. Made peace with the fact that the girl who’d once dreamed of becoming a writer was now the woman who cleaned writers’ apartments. Until the day I walked into Michael McGrath’s penthouse in Tribeca and saw a portrait hanging above his fireplace that stopped my heart cold.
A boy with dark hair and blue eyes, maybe seven years old, wearing a striped shirt and holding a toy airplane. Smiling at the artist with an expression I’d know anywhere, even after all these years. Oliver.
My name is Tessa Smith—or at least, that’s the name the state of Wyoming gave me when I was left at a fire station three days old, wrapped in a yellow blanket with no note, no name, nothing to identify who I was or where I’d come from. I grew up at Meadow Brook Orphanage in Casper, Wyoming, one of those sprawling old buildings that always smelled like industrial cleaner and overcooked vegetables. It wasn’t a terrible place.
The staff did their best with limited resources and too many kids. But it was lonely in the way that only institutional childhood can be—surrounded by people but never quite belonging to anyone. When I was six years old, a new boy arrived at Meadow Brook.
It was late summer, the kind of hot Wyoming afternoon where the air shimmers and the grasshoppers make that constant clicking sound in the dry grass. I was coloring in the common room when the director brought him in—a skinny kid with dark hair that stuck up in the back, wearing a t-shirt with the word “Oliver” embroidered discreetly on the collar. The police thought it was some designer brand, but they’d used it as his name because he couldn’t remember anything else.
From the day he arrived, his name was Oliver. I remember watching him those first few weeks. He didn’t talk much.
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