A soldier was stationed abroad and received a “Dear John” letter from his girlfriend back home. It read: “Dear Dave, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great.
I must admit that I have cheated twice, since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent you.
Love, Kim.”
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins, etc. In addition to the picture of Kim, Dave included all the other pictures of pretty girls he had collected from his buddies. There were 43 photos in the envelope along with a note that read: “Dear Kim, I’m so sorry but I can’t remember who you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me. Take care, Dave.”
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Three Soldiers had just gotten out of the Army and decided to celebrate by taking a helicopter ride. One of the soldiers is eating a banana and says, “I wonder if we’d be able to see it land, if I threw the peel out?” Out goes the peel and they all watch it but don’t see it land.
One of the others has a rock and says “This is bigger, we should be able to see it land.” They all watch, but don’t see it land. The last one takes a grenade out of his pocket, pulls the pin and tosses it out of the door. “We’ll see that when it hits.” They watch, but still nothing.
Walking home they see a little girl crying and they ask, what’s wrong? “Well I was walking and slipped on a banana peel that came from nowhere.”
The soldiers explain what happened and are helping the girl home when they see a little boy sitting on the side of the road holding his head. They ask what happened?
“I was walking when a rock hit me on the head.”
They tell the story again and start to wonder what happened to the grenade. One of them races ahead and sees an old lady laughing hysterically. He asks what’s so funny?
The old lady says, “I just farted and my house blew up!!”
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A HUGE GAFFE
It’s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences. Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
The story doesn’t end here — it continues on the next page.
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