“Can you give me a push?” he asked. “It’s three in the morning!” my husband barked, slamming the door shut. “Who was it?” I asked.
“Some guy asking for a push.”
I glared at him. “Remember when we got stuck last winter and strangers helped us? Don’t you think it’s our turn now?”
With a sigh, he put on his coat and went outside.
“Where are you?” he called. “Over here!” came the reply. “Where exactly?”
“On the swing set!”
He returned inside, soaking wet and fuming, but I couldn’t stop laughing.
4. The Corvette That Stole the Show
A recently divorced woman decided to treat herself to a shiny red Corvette. Speeding down the highway, she felt unstoppable—until flashing lights appeared behind her.
“Ma’am,” said the officer, “if you can give me an excuse for speeding that I’ve never heard, I’ll let you go.”
Without missing a beat, she replied, “Last week, my husband ran off with a cop. I thought you were trying to bring him back!”
The officer burst out laughing. “Have a nice day, ma’am,” he said, waving her off.
5. The Hotel Bill Trick
A couple checked out of a fancy hotel and were shocked to receive a $350 bill. “This must be a mistake,” the husband protested.
“No mistake,” said the receptionist. “It includes access to the pool, spa, and more.”
“But we didn’t use any of those!”
“Yes, but they were available to you,” the receptionist replied smugly. The husband handed over a check for $50.
“This is only $50,” the receptionist said. “That’s right. I’m charging you $300 for sleeping with my wife,” the husband shot back.
“But I didn’t!” the receptionist stammered. “Well,” the husband replied with a shrug, “she was available.”
6. The Blonde Outsmarts a Harvard Graduate
A Harvard graduate tried to outsmart a blonde on a flight.
“Let’s play a game,” he suggested. “I’ll ask a question. If you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.
If I don’t know your question, I’ll pay you $500.”
“Sure,” she said. He started: “What’s the exact distance between Earth and Mars?”
She handed him $5. Her turn: “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”
He searched the internet, asked fellow passengers, and finally gave up.
Handing her $500, he asked, “So, what’s the answer?”
She handed him $5 and said, “I have no idea.”
