While some secrets may never see the light of day, others might take a few years, or even decades, before they finally become known. And while discovering a hidden truth about our family or a close person can be unpleasant or even frightening at first, it can also help us see our reality more clearly. This newfound clarity can assist us in constructing our identity and moving forward into the future with greater ease.
1. When I was 3, my mom and her mother took a month-long vacation together. That was the only trip they ever took just by themselves. They told everyone they had been to Spain but didn’t bring back photos or tell stories. Dad’s parents looked after me in the meantime.
She never showed me a passport stamp. For all I know, she never even had a passport. Once, Mom let it slip and said she never traveled overseas in her life. “There’s that month in Spain,” I replied. She fell silent. Apparently, she had been hoping I’d forgotten.
Nothing made sense until years later when I realized her trip to Spain took place shortly before abortion was legalized where we were living. Mom, dad, and I had been living in a one-bedroom apartment at the time. Mom and Grandma probably decided she couldn’t afford a second child. Dad never guessed a thing.
2. I found out that my mother got pregnant when she was 17, so she and my dad were planning to ask her parents for permission to marry. Instead, they received an ultimatum: get an abortion or be sent away to a home for unwed mothers.
My mother opted for the abortion and married my father two weeks after her 18th birthday. She subsequently experienced several miscarriages and stillbirths, almost certainly due to the damage done to her uterus/cervix.
What happened next changed everything… FULL STORY on the next page.
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